Dear God,
Yesterday I woke up and realized that I am already 19 years old. Today I woke up again and realized the same thing, that I am 19 years and a day older. It will take some time before I get the hang of saying my new age when people ask.
By the way, have I said thanks?
Thank you for my family who never failed to make me feel that I am special. Thank you for the friends who remembered that a friend was celebrating her birthday yesterday. Thank you for I have felt happy and loved yesterday. Thanks even though You haven't granted my little wish, I am confident, ahmm no, I am certain that you will, in Your own time. Right? Thank you for the fact that You have proven Yourself a loving and understanding God. Thank you for the years that have passed and for a lot more years that are yet to come.
If I gained another year just to be more stupid than I already am, please bear with me. :)
I love you. I know You know that I had a happy birthday. Thanks to You!
shashi:)
4.20.2008
4.05.2008
no title
Some time this month, I will be officially 19. I guess the 19th will be a day just a little different from every day of the year. Mom will cook her priceless spaghetti and if I got lucky, I'll also be munching on my favorite macaroni salad.
I have always wanted my birthdays to be just as simple as they could possibly be. My 18th birthday did not end up the way I planned it. In their wish to give me a memorable day, my parents rented this private resort near our home where few invited friends and relatives came to greet me a happy birthday. We ate and swam nonstop. It was not an extravagant party, nevertheless it was special, and memorable indeed.
A lady reaching the age of 18 always calls for a big celebration. But I'd rather sit on the couch with the closest friends I have and spend the day watching movies I like. I'd rather share my dinner with my beloved relatives than roam around a crowd of guests asking if they are having a good time and thanking them for the gifts they've brought.
This simple fact about me strikes me as odd. I like attending birthday parties and I always look forward especially to debuts. But I have never wanted one thrown for myself. Not that I see myself as of no importance in this world, but for me, it really doesn't feel right. Maybe because, I would rather celebrate my growing up than growing old. What difference does it make to celebrate my being18 or any age for this matter if I am still my old immature self?! Anyone who enjoys throwing parties might contradict this belief of mine. Please do not get me wrong. I did not say that you are immature people. The belief only applies to me.
This is the reason why I think my 19th birthday will just be a little more than the ordinary. For I think I still haven't grown up in the real sense of the word. Deep inside, I am still the selfish little me who only thinks of what will be best for herself. At 19, there are still so many things I haven't learned because I did not take the time learning them. Time will come when I will be throwing a party because I will think that I've already, finally, grown up. The time when I will feel that I have made a big difference, maybe not with the world, but at least in the lives of the people who mean the world to me.
In my heart, the Lord knows I deeply value every year that He had given me. For this coming one too, THANK YOU.
:)
I have always wanted my birthdays to be just as simple as they could possibly be. My 18th birthday did not end up the way I planned it. In their wish to give me a memorable day, my parents rented this private resort near our home where few invited friends and relatives came to greet me a happy birthday. We ate and swam nonstop. It was not an extravagant party, nevertheless it was special, and memorable indeed.
A lady reaching the age of 18 always calls for a big celebration. But I'd rather sit on the couch with the closest friends I have and spend the day watching movies I like. I'd rather share my dinner with my beloved relatives than roam around a crowd of guests asking if they are having a good time and thanking them for the gifts they've brought.
This simple fact about me strikes me as odd. I like attending birthday parties and I always look forward especially to debuts. But I have never wanted one thrown for myself. Not that I see myself as of no importance in this world, but for me, it really doesn't feel right. Maybe because, I would rather celebrate my growing up than growing old. What difference does it make to celebrate my being18 or any age for this matter if I am still my old immature self?! Anyone who enjoys throwing parties might contradict this belief of mine. Please do not get me wrong. I did not say that you are immature people. The belief only applies to me.
This is the reason why I think my 19th birthday will just be a little more than the ordinary. For I think I still haven't grown up in the real sense of the word. Deep inside, I am still the selfish little me who only thinks of what will be best for herself. At 19, there are still so many things I haven't learned because I did not take the time learning them. Time will come when I will be throwing a party because I will think that I've already, finally, grown up. The time when I will feel that I have made a big difference, maybe not with the world, but at least in the lives of the people who mean the world to me.
In my heart, the Lord knows I deeply value every year that He had given me. For this coming one too, THANK YOU.
:)
4.04.2008
and so i thought
oh God. i stink. i just got up from my sort-of late 6-hour siesta. i was supposed to lie down just for a little while, just rest my weary eyes because i have been facing the computer for hours. and then i was supposed to get my towel and take a bath. but i fell into a deep sleep, that even my level-todo phone could not wake me up. i can not take my shower now because if my sleeping mom would hear flowing and splashing in the bathroom at this hour, then that would mean homily 'til dawn. love you mom! :)
anyways! Later today until Sunday is YFC International Youth Conference. You see, it's this annual event where YFCs from all over the country and some from abroad convene in just one venue. They say it's very exciting and something a YFC shouldn't miss. and the catch is, this year's IYC is just a ride or two from where i live! and I am not registered to go! because i did not register!
i did not because i thought i'll be having my on-the-job training by this time. but i still haven't, not until wednesday next week.
i did not because i thought too many people will freak me out. but then again i realized i had been to crowded malls and crowded concerts too, and I did not freak out.
i did not because i do not have money for registration. but my parents could have given me some if only i said that i would like to go.
i thought i do not want to go, but when people i know are talking about it excitedly, i suddenly want to go! oh God, i am such a girl! chiq will be there, some of my cousins will be there and some friends too. now, i would love to go but i can not, 'coz those who are not registered are not allowed in the venue, not even a visit. that's what i've heard.
i think i will just ask a friend to buy me a souvenir shirt so it's like i went even though i didn't.. haha labo mo neng!
i wish that everyone will have a good time in there! God bless you all!:)
anyways! Later today until Sunday is YFC International Youth Conference. You see, it's this annual event where YFCs from all over the country and some from abroad convene in just one venue. They say it's very exciting and something a YFC shouldn't miss. and the catch is, this year's IYC is just a ride or two from where i live! and I am not registered to go! because i did not register!
i did not because i thought i'll be having my on-the-job training by this time. but i still haven't, not until wednesday next week.
i did not because i thought too many people will freak me out. but then again i realized i had been to crowded malls and crowded concerts too, and I did not freak out.
i did not because i do not have money for registration. but my parents could have given me some if only i said that i would like to go.
i thought i do not want to go, but when people i know are talking about it excitedly, i suddenly want to go! oh God, i am such a girl! chiq will be there, some of my cousins will be there and some friends too. now, i would love to go but i can not, 'coz those who are not registered are not allowed in the venue, not even a visit. that's what i've heard.
i think i will just ask a friend to buy me a souvenir shirt so it's like i went even though i didn't.. haha labo mo neng!
i wish that everyone will have a good time in there! God bless you all!:)
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