I had always thought I have a good grip on my emotions. Always steady, not much drama. When things don't seem so right, I was the kind who'd think that it's nothing a run, an ice cream, a prayer or a good sleep couldn't fix. That's what I thought until the run, the ice cream, the good sleep and the prayers didn't give me the fix I need.
I hate it when I get sad, upset and stressed about anything. I hate it more when I can't get past feeling sad, upset and stressed. I prefer using my head more than my heart. Always. Logic over feelings. I always try getting to the root of what's making me feel bad, analyzing them, then thinking of ways on how to get past them. It has always worked. You can imagine how much more analyzing I did upon finding out that my system doesn't work all the time. It's exhausting that I find myself worrying more, smiling less, getting irked easily and overanalyzing every single damn thing. I decided I don't like who I'm turning into.
I'm now like a robot who's trying this thing humans call vulnerability. I'm letting my tears fall freely, I'm trying to be more honest about what I'm feeling and I'm learning how to deal with emotions I had always dismissed as unnecessary. All emotions are beautiful. I'm not going to apologize for finally feeling. I got this. Trust me.
