i'd rather be with . . .

"would you rather be with SOMEONE YOU CAN LIVE WITH or with SOMEONE YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT?"

just a few minutes ago, tinanong ni Sharon Cuneta ang tanong na 'yan sa mga guests niya. silently, i tried answering. the question was somehow similar with "sinong mas pipiliin mo, 'yung taong mahal ka pero hindi mo naman mahal o 'yung taong mahal na mahal mo pero hindi ka naman mahal?"

my answer then was always: " 'dun na ko sa taong mahal ako. kung pipiliin ko 'yung tao na hindi naman ako mahal knowing na hindi naman siya happy with me, hindi rin naman ako magiging masaya. at least, 'yung tao na nagmamahal sa'kin, matututunan ko naman siya mahalin."

coward! yes, i am. takot ako na maiwan, i've always said that. and it shows in my chicken-hearted answer. sigurista? bingo! i wanted to be certain and reassured that i am loved, rather than risk on living a life of uncertainty with someone i am hopelessly in love with. ang katwiran ko, i could learn loving someone who loves me with all his heart. then maybe, it will be a happy ending for the two of us, maybe.

another question: could love really be taught and learned?

honestly, i do not think so. wala naman daw formula ang love. once it strikes, you can never run away from it. when it doesn't strike, then it doesn't. hindi naman pwede ipilit. sabi nga ni Marjorie, hindi niya daw kayang magpretend to be in love with someone na wala naman talaga siyang nararamdaman. i also think i can't.

so, back with the original question: "would you rather be with SOMEONE YOU CAN LIVE WITH or with SOMEONE YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT?"

my REVISED answer: i would like to be with someone i can live with, someone who would love and accept every single thing about me, someone who would give me the love that i need. BUT, i would still choose to be with someone i can not live without, someone who will make me feel like i'm in a roller coaster ride, someone who will bring out the best and worst in me, someone who will defy me when i am wrong and fight me stubbornly.

i would choose to be with the person i can not live without, because i would want to live; and how could i, if i will deny myself the only person in this world that would keep me breathing?

who knows? it might be in my lucky stars that the "someone i can live with" and the "someone i can not live without" is just one and the same. i'm keeping my fingers crossed.

:)