Some time this month, I will be officially 19. I guess the 19th will be a day just a little different from every day of the year. Mom will cook her priceless spaghetti and if I got lucky, I'll also be munching on my favorite macaroni salad.
I have always wanted my birthdays to be just as simple as they could possibly be. My 18th birthday did not end up the way I planned it. In their wish to give me a memorable day, my parents rented this private resort near our home where few invited friends and relatives came to greet me a happy birthday. We ate and swam nonstop. It was not an extravagant party, nevertheless it was special, and memorable indeed.
A lady reaching the age of 18 always calls for a big celebration. But I'd rather sit on the couch with the closest friends I have and spend the day watching movies I like. I'd rather share my dinner with my beloved relatives than roam around a crowd of guests asking if they are having a good time and thanking them for the gifts they've brought.
This simple fact about me strikes me as odd. I like attending birthday parties and I always look forward especially to debuts. But I have never wanted one thrown for myself. Not that I see myself as of no importance in this world, but for me, it really doesn't feel right. Maybe because, I would rather celebrate my growing up than growing old. What difference does it make to celebrate my being18 or any age for this matter if I am still my old immature self?! Anyone who enjoys throwing parties might contradict this belief of mine. Please do not get me wrong. I did not say that you are immature people. The belief only applies to me.
This is the reason why I think my 19th birthday will just be a little more than the ordinary. For I think I still haven't grown up in the real sense of the word. Deep inside, I am still the selfish little me who only thinks of what will be best for herself. At 19, there are still so many things I haven't learned because I did not take the time learning them. Time will come when I will be throwing a party because I will think that I've already, finally, grown up. The time when I will feel that I have made a big difference, maybe not with the world, but at least in the lives of the people who mean the world to me.
In my heart, the Lord knows I deeply value every year that He had given me. For this coming one too, THANK YOU.
:)
1 comment:
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