2nd sem, here i am!

Day: Anong feeling ng last sem mo na?
ME: Walang feeling. (said without any trace of emotion)

Nyiiii!

Ngayon ko lang napagmuni-muni na ang ibig ko palang sabihin ng 'walang feeling' ay 'sobrang daming feelings.' na hindi ako makaugaga kung anong uunahin kong harapin.

Una, at ang pinakawalang kwenta sa lahat, katamaran! What's new? May lamat na kaagad ang attendance sheet ko dahil nung isang araw, pinili ko pa manood ng Bones kesa pumasok sa school. Mas masaya nga naman yung ginawa ko! Eto pa, sa 3 days na ipinasok ko, 3 times din ako nalate.

Ikalawa, pagkatuliro dahil sa sobrang daming kelangan na gawin. Last semester na nga, full load pa din kame, mejo umaawas pa nga, with 25 units heller baler naman?! Andyan ang thesis! Mejo lost pa din kame dito ng mga partners ko pero promise we're working on it naman. Andyan din ang iba pang mga subjects na pa-major. In fairness, major nga naman pala sila. 7 major subjects in a sem, mejo nalolorkalooosh lang talaga ako. Aside from these, iniisip ko pa din ang pagpapagrad pic ko, at ang pambayad na hihingin ko na naman from my impoverished parents. Sana sumisinga ako ng pera para hindi na sila masyado namomroblema sa tambak na gastusin ko. Natutuliro din ako at hindi na ko makatulog sa gabi dahil sa kakaisip kung ano ang creative shot ko, at tsaka kung paano ang smile ko, labas ba ang ngipin, o hindi. Suggestions? Recommendations? Donations please?

Next feeling, amazement. Sobrang bilis grabe. Parang kung kelan lang, umaatungal ako dahil I was having a hard time with the adjustments sa college. Pero ngayon, konting kembot na lang habang tumatawid sa alambre, finish line na. How time flies!

And then there's the excitement! Excited ako magtrabaho at kumita ng sarili kong pera. Wala pa man akong trabaho, kadalasan pag nasa bus ako which is always my time to contemplate about things, nagbubudget na ko ng magiging sahod. Alam ko mejo kabaliwan yun pero di ko talaga maiwasan eh. I'm excited about buying the things I long to buy for myself and my family, about the places I'm dying to reach and about the food I would very much like to experience. All of which maeexperience ko na siguro if I'll have my own money to spend. Alam ko na money does not make the world go round, pero one needs it in order to visit places in this world. It's one of my biggest dreams.

Last but not the least, I am scared and I'm too proud to admit it. Some time ago, I believe I have already learned a thing called responsibility. Pero the responsibility na naghihintay sakin after college, it's bigger and heavier. There will be tougher decisions to make and tougher people to meet. I am not certain kung ready na ko. Of course, I have to be. I am scared of going out of my comfort zone - my friends, my family, my couch. I need a lot of growing up to happen after school. College may be my ticket to a better life. After that, I am completely on my own. And I have to be familiar with the road I am about to take, the bumps and humps I am about to encounter. I think that's what makes it so scary.